Doing ‘What God Wants’ – Food Network Host d'Arabian Keeps the Faith

While she has grown spiritually from her mother’s suicide, the pain of it is never far away for Food Network host Melissa d'Arabian. 

Her voice cracked Saturday before an audience of about 90 as she recounted learning of her mother’s death, even though it was nearly 25 years ago.

The group was gathered to hear her discuss her faith, while also enjoying recipes ”

One way she deals with the grief? By taking back the two terrible days she associates with her mother's death. The Coronado resident's mom died on April 12, but her body wasn’t found until a day later.

On those two days, d'Arabian does something to “create value for the world,” she said. It can be something as simple as baking cookies and giving them to her neighbor, but she finds it's a way of honoring her mother and her faith.   

D’Arabian, 44, spoke at St Paul’s United Methodist Church about how her spiritual journey began at a Christian youth camp and was interrupted by her mother’s suicide when she was 20 and attending college.

It resumed a decade later as she struggled to find the meaning from losing her mother, a single mom and a physician who had achieved in life what many of us strive for – financial security and prestige.

It still wasn't enough.

“Her arrival was the source of her disappointment,” d’Arabian said. “She discovered that success couldn’t fix anything important. It can only smooth out the rough edges.”

What d'Arabian, now a mother of four, took from that was a simple life lesson: “Wherever I go, whatever I do, I take me with me,” she said.

After spending a decade emulating her mother’s drive for material success, earning an MBA and enjoying a rise in the corporate world, she found peace and inspiration from her mother's death – by renewing her commitment to Christ and creating “a personal life mission.”

“I do what God wants me to do,” she said. That commitment, she adds, helps her maintain a life of value and purpose.

That decision, she said, is bigger than anything we do, regardless of one's fame or responsibilities: “It’s bigger than the Food Network. It’s bigger than changing diapers.”

One way she finds value is by volunteering. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention honored her in New York City this week with its “Survivor of Suicide Loss Award.”

She also taught kids cooking as a fund-raiser for Coronado SAFE and promoted breast cancer awareness by live-tweeting her mammogram.

To help her audience find what drives them, d'Arabian encouraged them to create their own personal mission by asking themselves two questions:

• What do I want to do before I die?  
• How might I glorify that in this world?

She links her answers to everything she does, from her family to her job, and they help her decide which projects to embrace and which to reject. They also help her weather disappointment.

“I see them as away to increase my dependence on Christ,” she said.