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Community Corner

Packing a Child Off to College

Letting go of your precious one is hard to do, but the process is inevitable.

Good bye, Charlie! Oh, the heartache as we say farewell to our college-bound offspring. 

Where did the time go? As cliché as this sounds, sending a child away to college, whether across the country or across the state, is a heart-wrenching milestone.  

In a way, letting go is a leap of faith, and one which makes us look back at how we did our jobs raising them. Did we teach them everything they need to know? Can we protect them from the elements? Will they make the right decisions?

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The answer to some of these questions is probably no, and this might be a good thing. Once your child is on her own she may decide to trade cozy bedtime routines and glasses of milk for grueling all-nighters and mugs of beer. She may have decided not showering for a week is OK as long as she's keeping up with friends, activities and, yes, school work. It’s probably best they stay well away from us then and learn these life skills on their own, isn’t it?

As many students head off to college for the first time, our Moms Council reflects on how they have dealt with or will manage their emotions when their kids are off to college, too.

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Tonia Accetta: OK, so I am not sending my kids off to college this year; that’s in the future if it all goes to plan. Getting them through high school first will be tough enough on my nerves and sanity, so this is why I can genuinely say that when the day comes to kiss them on the cheek and say goodbye, I will be the first to celebrate.

We hear a lot about this new trend calling our kids the “boomerang generation” for the number that move back in with their parents after college, but at our house we have only one expectation and that is that once you leave you don't come back. Young adults should enjoy this exciting time and we wish them all luck for the future.

Suzette Valle: Waving goodbye to my son from the rented mini-van after we moved him into his dorm is one of the worst feelings I’ve experienced as a parent. I was scared and had to fight the desire to selfishly keep my child with me forever. The unknowns were harder to deal with—will he get homesick, hurt, or fail to thrive? were just some of the questions I wouldn’t have answers to until I saw him again, which turned out to be three months later for Thanksgiving. 

As time went on and the calls were few and far between, I became more at ease with the notion that he is actually just fine. Did he turn his laundry pink? I don’t know and frankly I don’t want to. However, the one thing my husband and I are certain of is that if we continue to do our jobs and support him while he’s at college, from now on he only will be coming back home to visit us (sigh). 

The parents:

Tonia Accetta is stay-at-home mom of a teenage boy and a preteen girl. She moved to Coronado in 2002 with her husband of 15 years.

Suzette Valle is a 20-year Coronado resident who was recognized by Time Warner as one of the local “50 Best Moms” in 2006. She has appeared on the Dr. Phil Show and blogs at MamarazziKnowsBest.com.

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